2008.05.26:
一年前、あつしが Christian になった〜
I’m amazed to see how you’ve grown and how God has molded you into the person you’ve become: your desire to share God’s love with your friends, to grow beyond your comfort zones, so full of joy and life in Christ. ^_^ My life is blessed because of you.
Happy Birthday Atsushi… 誕生日おめでとう〜 ^_^
determined to make this my testimony this time…
“Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life.” (Proverbs 4:23) よしゃ〜
I can’t believe how fast this month flew by… each day is so full of its own troubles and blessings, incidents, emotions, and thanksgivings (especially with the beginning of the new school year). but FINALLY, we have a little time to breathe. Tying into Golden Week (the first few days in May when all of Japan rests) Handai is also celebrating their anniversary, so we get an entire week off! ^_^
Hrm…. there’s that feeling of having too much to write about that… I can’t really think of where to start. I guess, I should post this at least (if anyone is in need of something to pray for): Feels like with so much ministry stuff happening these days, we haven’t had much time to focus on our own team development/well-being… I get the feeling that Satan’s been working overtime as well, with all the work that God is doing through our team and prayers. There’s been a lot of unspoken tension and unloving feelings among STiNTers, staff, even married couples. It’d be really great if you could pray for our team relationships when you remember Japan. If nothing else, it’s my biggest prayer these days that our students will continue to understand God’s love more and more as they see the love overflowing from our team.
Even in the midst of an exhausting month and the troubles that pop up here and there, I’ve been so thankful to even be experiencing these things in Japan. After seven months… it still blows my mind that I’m actually here. I dunno why I expect to hear Spanish outside my window… -_- but it still surprises me when I hear people talking in Japanese every morning. And lately, there’s something so familiar about the ’summer smells’ in Osaka. I dunno what it is exactly. Something like wood… and the flowers + a kinda moisture in the air… reminds me that I’m really here. hehe… I realize it all sounds crazy. ^_^ But there’s just no possible way to describe each day or these feelings… with people that haven’t experienced the same.
Hrmmmmm…. I believe USC is done this week. I can’t believe two years have passed already since I graduated. Last year was a big shock for me (to think back on the things I was doing exactly a year ago) but this year… it’s like it all happened in another lifetime. I remember when this year’s graduates came in as freshmen… like Oscar, Chengja, Kyu… I feel so far from them now… but congratulations to you all… You take up a very special part of my heart. Good luck during finals week! Hwaiting~!
Anyway, didn’t really write about anything meaningful… but just thought I’d let people know that I’m still alive and well. Hope to hear from some people soon~
2008.04.07:
today was the first day of school after a three month spring break~! how exciting to be a freshman starting college for the first time. really makes me wanna go back asap.
the cherry blossoms are already being replaced by new spring leaves. kind of sad that time passes like it does. it’s so pretty though… like it’s snowing all over again~~ you never really get to appreciate the cherry blossom in cali like you can here… it’s stunning…
it’s been kinda tough adjusting to the new stinters arriving and all the changes happening this semester. new roommate makes ‘three’ at Toneyama now… recently feel like the odd one out now that we’ve got another korean-korean in the house. and now that there’s no p-chan at Handai, it’s JUST me and a buncha koreans. o_O it’s funny how NOT korean a korean-american can feel when they’re surrounded by so many natives. my thought process… my responses to situations… are probably closer to that of our american-american staff. but of course… there are the roots that i grew up with, making me definitely korean. -_-;; i love my team and my roommates………… but there’s just so many of them sometimes! -_- korean overload… those are the days that i run to p-chan and ryan or even to our japanese kids… for a breath of fresh ‘foreign’ air. but of course, if anybody were to ever talk smack about koreans, i’d be all riled up too… haha ahh~ the identity crisis of every second generation asian-american…
i don’t like ignorance or narrow mindedness. or people that stereotype cuz that’s the only type they know. -_-
hrmm~ yah that’s what’s going on in the moment i guess ^_^ im tempted to go in an erase everything i’ve written… ‘dont want to upset anyone jenn’ strikes again~~ im gonna leave it though- for the sake of being more transparent. if this was your first time visiting… ^_^ welcome to jenn’s real world!
2008.03.27:
９月に夢を見た。In August (before coming to Japan), I had a dream. This is what I wrote in my journal that day:
“August 31, 2007- I had a dream last night. I was preparing to go to STiNT- saying goodbye to people and doing some last minute shopping in LA. From where I was standing, I could see downtown LA (all of the buildings on the horizon). All of a sudden, there was a flash of light and everything went white. Some kind of explosion I think… When my eyes readjusted, I saw a HUGE cloud go up into the sky, and it began to spread outward too- like Hiroshima. As the ring spread towards us, people began to run. But they weren’t fast enough and it literally washed over them like water. Then I woke up… Maybe it had something to do with God’s love or… His grace covering Japan like the dust.”
I know… kind of a weird dream, but it was so vivid at the time that I wrote it down in my QT book and even drew a little picture of what I remember seeing. I hadn’t really thought about the dream until last week when I went to Haru Camp. The church we were staying at had CGNTV playing for most of the day (when we weren’t using the room) As we were finishing up with some last minute cleaning… I sat down to watch as a commercial for ‘Love Sonata 2008- Hiroshima’ came on. I was shocked… as they showed images from the real atomic bomb exploding in Hiroshima over 60 years ago… all the images from my dream came flooding back. They were the same… ‘oh wuhhhht~~’
I had no thoughts on going to ‘Love Sonata 2008′ to be perfectly honest… but I decided right then, to go. The commercial ended with this saying (in Korean):
“Scars that time could not erase, Jesus’ love will heal.”
“時間が消えない傷は、イエス様の愛で治られる”
I’m looking forward to seeing what God has prepared for me… and for the revival that will begin in Hiroshima this April〜！ (Anyone interested in joining me?)
2008.03.23:
“…today, we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord” ^_^ My pastor at IBC says this at the beginning of every week’s sermon… (even when it’s not Easter) keke~ I miss that… but today, i was so blessed to really celebrate the resurrection of our Lord with my new family at Suita Church. I thought I’d ask several of our older, non-Christian friends to come to service (without really thinking that they would come, to be perfectly honest) but all four of them came today… ^_^ and I was kinda stunned (seeing them walk around like they’d been to worship a million times before) but so happy to share this day with them： かず、なっちゃん、ひら、じゅんぺい … 来てくれて今日ホンマに嬉しかった．
During offering time, Hosanna body worship team performed ‘Above All’ ^_^ and later danced around on stage during our last celebration praise time. ちょっと恥ずかしいけど (cuz I know you’re READING this!) But I was SO incredibly blessed by a particular brother on stage. The freedom… and the sheer joy radiating from his ear-to-ear smile as he jumped up and down, worshiping God…. is an image I’ll never forget. [名前], who just a few months ago, was wondering why he ever became Christian in the first place… recently reaccepted Christ into his life. Praise God for that alone… but seeing the resurrection so powerfully at work in someone’s life brought tears to my eyes~ ^_^
今日、ホンマに神様が誰かの人生の中で働いていることをジェンジェンの目で見ました．心から感謝します…
We sang a familiar song during our EM Bible Study this morning. “The Nails in Your Hands”… that rang so loudly in my heart today. And it goes a little something like this: ^_<
The nails in Your hands, the nails in Your feet
They tell me how much You love me.
The thorns on Your brow, they tell me how
You bore so much shame to love me.
And when the heavens pass away
All Your scars will still remain
And forever they will say
Just how much You love me, so I want to say…
Forever my love, forever my heart
Forever my life is Yours.
Forever my love, forever my heart
Forever my life if Yours… It’s Yours.
the new stinters from korea just arrived tonight~~ three girls, one boy.
which means, three girls at toneyama now. our new roommate majored in japanese (though i haven’t heard it yet), from seoul, and we’re the same age~! although we won’t be working on the same campus (she’s at kangaku) im looking forward to getting to know her better ^_^ slowly though… haha already YK and jennjenn’s ちがい at work. YK’s was the type to plop herself down in my room while i unpacked and rummaged through my things (trying to get to know me) while i put stuff away. kekeke~ good memories. she’s doing the same thing now with the new stinter. i think im more of the ‘get to know someone slowly’, from a distance… while i cook for them… type. haha~
we prayed a little bit for the new stinters tonight- that they would adjust well and quickly break through language barriers. how strange that ive now become the more experienced one, praying for, welcoming new stinters, helping them with japanese… -_- I NEED HELP WITH JAPANESE! まだ。。。
better go to sleep soon~ or at least play with our new roommate. ^_^ to be continued~
2008.03.12:
it’s getting noticably warmer here. it’s amazing how distinct each season it. in caifornia we only have 2… warm and cold. and it’s pretty random throughout the year. i’m looking forward to the cherry blossoms that will be coming out in a few days. apparently they’re only in full bloom for exactly one week. again… so exact. stay tuned for pictures on my facebook~ (or mebbe here… if i can figure this thing out)
finally finished my newsletter this morning! >_< gahh… i realize it’s mid-march already. every month it gets pushed back even a day or two, makes the next month that much later. i’m gonna have to do something about this endless cycle. but now that im done~~~ ^_^ at least i get a couple of hours before hurrying off to my next meeting at yamada tonight.
my roommate came back from korea last night~ (she was there for a litte over one month) it’s good to have her back and i’m glad to hear that her parents are doing much better. though it hardly seemed like i was alone for very long. had a few sisters sleep over here and there… and i feel like i was out of the country/city for most of the month myself.
ヨンギョンお帰り〜！会いたかった〜
ちょっと練習：
最近、ホンマに日本語勉強せーへん… ストレスになている…
時々、”あ〜ジェンジェンも今少し出来るやん”って思ったら…
something happens and im deflated again. keke
〜〜萎えるわ〜〜
話したいこと、考えることもちゃんと説明出来へんし… T_T
ここから勉強頑張るわ〜〜！
[for the non-japanese] im sorry if you can’t understand the japanese. neither can i. hehe~
just practicing ^_^;; bear with me while i try to become fluent.
[for the japanese] good teachers, be sure to point out my mistakes. just practicing ^_^
2008.03.07:
Having fun is hard work~ of course it wasn’t ALLLLL just playing, but it was all fun. in the past 2.5 months, I’ve been on a plane 10 times, a bullet train 3 times, and countless hours on the train/bus/car. so today, i rested… for the first time in what seems to be… the longest winter vacation of my life. Still have another month to go~! (school starts first week of April)
Went to Tokyo on Monday morning with all the STiNTers (minus Sooyun, plus a student). Was supposed to be there until tonight, but I cut it a few days short for a much needed snowboarding trip. hehehe ^_^ Came home (straight from Tokyo Disney Sea) around 12:30am wednesday night, woke up at 6am and went boarding with some friends near Pocchan’s hometown (Shiga) ^_^ Not very big, but personally, I liked it much better than the crowded slopes in CA. It felt like there were mebbe 100 people on the entire mountain… VERY nice (especially after a few days in Tokyo… the “most crowded city in the world”) I believe this… >_< *blah* Mebbe I’m more ‘country’ than I thought. I realized (in Korea and again yesterday) that 1) I gotta be near the ocean and 2) away from the pushing and shoving of people.
Snowboarding was GREAT~~ perfect snow (for most of the day), no people to dodge on the slopes, good time with friends… ^_^ great food
MY REST DAY:: What Jenn Does on Her Day Off
Slept in for the first time in awhile today~ *ahhh* ^_^ Did QTs, watched several episodes of ‘Boy Meets World’ hehe~ cooked myself some lunch *yaum*, did two loads of laundry, got a package in the mail~!! (filled with ALL KINDS OF GOODIES!) ^_^ made my day… watched another movie, cleaned the entire house, cooked some dinner *yaum again*, studied for 2 hours (good girl) ^_^, and now I’m writing a memo on my blog…
Gotta write my February Newsletter tomorrow~~ (again, if you use hotmail, you probably never received my January letter… cuz they all came bouncing back to me for some reason) Please let me know if you still want last (last) month’s issue… and stay tuned for February~!!
2008.02.18:
had a meeting for our ‘Korea Vision Trip’ this morning. to be honest, it doesn’t really feel like I’m going anywhere tomorrow afternoon. -_- though we’ve been praying and preparing for this trip for awhile now, i can’t really say that have any personal expectations for the upcoming week yet. however… empty as i am right now, i DO expect that God will pour into me everything i need to hear. ^_^ which is maybe the best way to go anyways…
after lunch with our team, i went to visit yuuji in the hospital again (this time with ko-san and sungminee) なんとなく、its funny seeing him play with the stuffed animal i gave him during our last visit. hehe~ the image of yuuji sitting in bed, practicing his surgery on Hippo-chan makes me smile. でも元気そう～^_^ please pray for yuuji’s surgery which will be coming up this thursday.
i’ll be taking off for korea tomorrow morning with 7…ish brothers and sisters ^_^ and then meeting with 3 others in korea for a week-long: seoul –> suwon –> daegu –> pusan –> seoul adventure~! then i’ll be staying in korea for a few extra days with family~ first time going to korea in the winter~ ㅎㅎㅎ